Before I even get started, let me just clarify that I'm referring to working outside the home. I am home quite a bit (thankfully) and am well aware that stay at home moms are also working moms. In most cases they probably work harder during the day than those of us who leave the house to work.
Hopefully I've said enough to avoid contention. :)
Yesterday was a tough day. Torin has an ultra sensitive gag reflex (thanks Daddy for imparting this to our son) and has struggled with throwing up in the morning when he's congested. Such was the case yesterday morning.
Having a gut feeling that was the cause of the incident, I took him to school, told them what happened and asked them to call me and let me know if it happened again. I was breathing a sigh of relief until my phone rang a little after 10...snack time.
Turns out he choked on a piece of rice cake and threw up. My son LOVES to shove huge amounts of food in his mouth. (I'll never understand this. He often eats as if we put his plate down and say, "Go! Hurry! You only have 3 minutes to eat!" And then take his plate away.) And if I had a ginormous piece of rice trying to go down my throat, I'd probably throw up too.
I was still pretty convinced that he was not sick although my immediate reaction was to tell them I'd be right there to pick him up. I called back in about 15 minutes to check on him and he was drinking water and eating rice cake (they had broken it up into small pieces for him).
He was fine the rest of the day, ate all his lunch and had a great day. Meanwhile, I was a mess. Anxious, stressed and stomach in knots worrying about my son.
All this to say that working outside the home is hard (so is being a stay at home mom). I struggle with loads of guilt, as I know other moms to do too. And what's funny, is that the guilt isn't isolated to those of us who work outside the home. Many of my stay at home mom friends say they struggle with constant guilt too...just over different things.
My son is so important to me. And I pray that God continues to give me wisdom and good gut feelings so I can do my best to balance the craziness that is my life.
1 comment:
Hi Lora! Beautifully written post. I struggled with guilt when I was teaching full time when Wes was a baby. But you're right, there is a new guilt that I face daily. It's the continuous lack of patience that I have (or don't have) with my boys. I pray daily for my patience dose of the day! It's sometimes all I can do to make it through a day without raising my voice until I head out the door to teach lessons at 4 pm! Praying for you lady!
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